


I Only Lost You In The Fall

by LoveNe



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Affection, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Light vs Darkness, Mythology - Freeform, Romance, War, creation story, higher power, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 21:10:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19159042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveNe/pseuds/LoveNe
Summary: Sometimes it's a lot more complicated than dark versus light. There's also love, pride, distrust, pain, and betrayal. (A reupload and cross posted from FFN)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before getting into this fic, keep in mind that this has a greek mythology/Genesis from the bible type vibe. It’s a creation story, meaning it’s a fictional story about how the world came to be. Look at Paradise Lost for an example. I’m not making fun of religion, I’m not saying one or any religion is wrong or right. It will never be that deep.
> 
> Also, there are loosely translated Latin words scattered throughout this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before getting into this fic, keep in mind that this has a greek mythology/Genesis from the bible type vibe. It’s a creation story, meaning it’s a fictional story about how the world came to be. Look at Paradise Lost for an example. I’m not making fun of religion, I’m not saying one or any religion is wrong or right. It will never be that deep.
> 
> Also, there are loosely translated Latin words scattered throughout this story.

The Beginning

It has been said that the world began in darkness, and unto darkness it will return. That is not entirely true. Before there was anything, there was Deus: all powerful, omnipresent, and omnipotent in all Their glory. For most of Their existence, They were alone in the silence of a realm that only existed because They willed it to.

Deus, aching for companionship and eager to rid Themselves of that loneliness, created an entity and poured half of the negativity that resided within Them into it. It was called darkness. It was cold and unforgiving; it was violent and insatiable. Wherever it traveled, it spread unease and dread. Still, They cared for it and loved it because it was the very first thing They had ever created. It would always be special to Them.

As time passed, the darkness began to grow at an alarming rate. Deus feared that it would eventually become too much to contain. So They took the darkness and placed it into a vessel, and breathed sentience into it. Upon drawing its first breath, the name Roxas was given to it. And it became _he_. After seven days, he began to move. And after six more days, he began to speak.

The world did not start in darkness, but _with_ darkness—with Roxas.

Deus and Roxas were the first two beings to ever exist. Roxas was able to feel the darkness within himself, as well as the part of Deus that once felt agonizing loneliness. Words could not describe how grateful he was towards his creator for having been created, but he too felt the need for something else.

One day, he asked, "Will there be nothing more? Are we meant to live alone in this empty silence?"

Deus could see that Roxas was unhappy, and it caused his darkness to permeate the realm and suffocate them both. Because They loved him, They agreed to create more for him. They made the space above a brilliant shade of blue, and it was named sky. In the sky were big fluffs of white, and they were named clouds. At the very top was a great bright light, and it was named sun. They made the space below a healthy brown, and it was named dirt. From that dirt grew thin green blades—each grown evenly and precise—and it was named grass. Some of this grass was longer and had colorful heads, and they were named flowers. They made large, beautiful columns, and they were named trees. Atop these trees were these fragile sheets of different sizes, shapes, and colors, and they were named leaves. All of these things put together made a version of the realm that was called day.

A second version of the realm was created, where all the colors were darkened and hushed. Dozens of twinkling lights littered the sky, and they were named stars. A great light (though less bright than the other) was added to this sky, and it was named moon. This was called night. Roxas delighted in this version of their realm. He felt unwell in the day, but stronger and safer in the night.

Roxas was given authority over all that was created. They allowed him to give all the flowers, plants, and trees names, and all of the stars in the sky as well. And when he finished, Deus gave the realms a name: Coelum.

This pleased Roxas for a while, but it did not last. The loneliness crept into his heart once again, and he found himself kneeling before his creator once more, hands clasped tightly together.

"Will you not create another to ease _my_ loneliness, Dominus?"

Deus replied, _Are you not satisfied with what you have already been given?_

Roxas, fearing that he had offended Them, lowered his face to the dirt. "I wish not to seem ungrateful, but I feel as you have felt before. I, too, long for a companion—one who is like me."

Deus marveled at how a creature filled with all that is unpleasant could willingly show a gesture of obedience and submission. Roxas was loyal to Them. Roxas _adored_ Them. As a symbol of Their love, Deus poured half of the love inside of Them into one more entity and named it light. Unlike darkness, it was warm and comforting. It brought Deus so much joy that They immediately created a vessel for it to reside in. Upon drawing its first breath, the name Xion was given to it. And it became _she._

Xion neither moved, nor spoke for thirteen days. She never even opened her eyes. However, Roxas stayed by her side, patiently waiting for any kind of response from her. The ache in his chest had long since turned into burning excitement. Deus was an amazing companion to have, but he quickly came to understand that there were many things about Them that he would never be able to comprehend. Roxas had questions. If Xion had questions too, he would like to discuss them with her—if only to prove to himself that he's not out of line for having them in the first place.

When Xion opened her eyes on the fourteenth day, Roxas was taken aback. Her eyes shone bright and reminded him of the sky above, and the color that came to her cheeks reminded him of roses. He leaned over to get a better look at her. As her eyes focused, he smiled at her. "Hello."

She blinked slowly. "Hel…lo?"

His smile widened, as he did not expect her to be able to speak so soon. He told Deus of her awakening, and together they helped her get to know the realm around them. She always smiled because she found it beautiful, but thought that something was missing. Deus allowed her the same opportunity as Roxas, and she used it to create the most gorgeous creatures: some with four legs, some with two, some that slithered, and some that flew. Roxas loved them all, and Deus loved them as well.

Once Xion was used to the day, Roxas tried to get her acquainted with the night. She eventually became unwell in the darkness. They observed just how long Roxas was able to stay in the day and Xion was able to stay in the night before they weakened. That observation lead to the creation of a large, golden horn. So whenever Xion became weak, the horn would blow and begin the transition into day. And when Roxas became weak, the horn would blow and begin the transition into night again.

Roxas is now content with the realm, and ever so pleased with his creator for allowing him to have a companion as beautiful and pleasant as Xion.

However, there is one thing that keeps making its way to the front of his mind when he rests. If Deus created him, and Xion also…

Who created Deus?

* * *

 Chapter 1

The dark haired deity was roused from her rest by the sound of a low pitched horn. A smile spreads across her face as she opens her eyes to see the night sky above. The stars are so pretty, and she thinks that Roxas is so lucky to be able to see them all the time.

She sits up, legs folding into a W as she stretches her arms high above her head. The horn sounds again, and she sits patiently. Although she rested well, she still lacks a lot of energy. Her arms come down to wrap around her torso as she gazes up at the twinkling lights.

"They _are_ different sizes…" she mutters. "I told him so."

One by one, the stars begin to fade and the ink black canvas that they were once painted on slowly turns to a navy blue. A yawn escapes her, and the sky is a cool blue with a soft orange tint at the very edge when she opens her eyes.

_The edge of the sky_. She'll tell him about that when she sees him again.

Soon, the sky is back to its brilliant blue and the sun and clouds are back in the sky. She straightens her legs and scoots to the edge of her large leaf bed. After a brief inhale, she gently slides down the curve and lands on her feet in the grass below. Without missing a beat, she takes off in the direction of the Yellow Tree. The grass still feels cool beneath her feet, but she knows that'll change once the sun's been out for a while.

When she has the Yellow Tree in her sights, she slows to a light jog and crouches so that her steps aren't so loud. At the base of the tree, she sees her friend. His back is turned to her, and she grins as she creeps up behind him.

"BOO!"

He shrieks as he attempts to crawl away, but winds up slipping and falling over nothing. He frowns as he looks up at her with yellow leaves tangled in his wild, golden hair. "Are you content with the way you are?!"

She nods as she plops down beside him in the grass. "I am."

He sighs as he sits up, and she helps pluck the leaves from his head. "I saw them again—the stars."

"Not this again."

"They are not the same size! There was this one that was bigger and brighter than all the rest, I swear!"

The blond snorts. "Okay."

"Roxas…"

Suddenly, there's a finger in front of her face. She stares at it for a moment, then looks up at him. Roxas' smile is warm and his eyes are as clear as the river just a few feet away from them, but the close proximity is nauseating. She wonders when she'll stop being revolted whenever they're physically close to one another.

"It is far too early to argue, Xion. You have yet to eat."

Her expression drops. "Did you already eat without me? You said you would wait…"

"I did wait. Breakfast is no fun alone. Come."

Xion scrambles to her feet in excitement. (Breakfast is one of her favorite parts of the day because she gets to eat _and_ spend time with him). Roxas takes the lead, and Xion follows a few feet behind him. Together, they walk along the bank of the river. Apart from the sound of running water and gently rustling leaves, there's silence. It's comfortable…but she still thinks it's a little _too_ quiet.

"What do you think is at the edge of the sky?" she asks softly.

The blond glances at her over his shoulder. "The edge of the sky?"

Xion swings her arms. She doesn't quite know what to do with them. "Yes. Do you see the sky right when the sun comes up? The colors peek out from the bottom like it is coming from beneath something. That must mean the sky has an edge, yes?"

There's a short hum. "Nothing is impossible for our creator."

She grins as she jogs to join him at his side. "So you agree with me!"

"I never said that."

Her small hands curl into fists. It frustrates her when Roxas does this. "Why do this? Why must you always make me feel stupid for being excited about things?"

Roxas stops, and so Xion is forced to stop too. He turns to her with such an intense expression on his face that it unnerves her. "I never once meant to make you feel that way, Xion. I love how passionate you are about the flowers and the stars and the sky. I only tease…"

Xion's face heats up as she averts her eyes. Of course he was teasing her. She should have know that by the tone of his voice. Now she's made him feel terrible. "My apologies," she mumbles.

"No, they are all mine. I will never make you feel that way again. You can be as curious as you like and I will happily indulge you."

She nods wordlessly. When he resumes walking, she lags behind once again. They stay silent until they reach The Garden: the place where they get their food. Roxas approaches the golden gate and holds it open; Xion avoids eye contact as she quickly walks past him.

"Did you have anything particular in mind?" Roxas asks softly.

"Oh…no, I…anything will do."

Roxas lifts his hand, and a nearby tree lowers its branch in order to bring him a shiny red apple. He plucks it from the limb and it immediately returns to its original state. "We can have more berries and honey slices?"

At the mention of this, Xion allows herself to smile, "Okay," and settles down on top of a dome shaped seat (Roxas calls it a mushroom) while he prepares their food for them.

"One day I'll know how to do that," she whispers hopefully. As she watches him in muted awe, she hears a low growl behind her. The sound is accompanied by a burst of hot air on her lower back. She quickly turns around and comes face to face with a large, four-legged, orange creature with black stripes baring its teeth at her.

Xion smirks as she reaches over to cup its head with both hands. "What are you mad about today? Huh? Why so grumpy, sweet boy?" Her fingers curl to scratch beneath his chin and his eyes close with a content purr.

"He missed you," Roxas tells her.

She giggles as she kneels in front of her favorite creation: the tiger. "Is that it? Are you throwing a fit because you missed me? I missed you too, cutie."

It continues to purr loudly as she gives him affectionate scratches. She starts at the neck and slowly moves her hands further down until he happily rolls onto his back and offers her his stomach, which she rubs.

"Breakfast is ready, you two."

Xion and her tiger perk up. Both race to the spot where Roxas has placed the large leaf that holds their food. She sits sideways and pats the grass in between her legs. "Sit, Rajah."

The tiger sits obediently, and they begin their meal. It consists of tiny purple berries from a nearby tree, and slices of apples drizzled with honey from a beehive. There are a couple of apple slices without honey sat aside for Rajah because Xion noticed that he prefers them without it.

They eat in silence for awhile, until Xion realizes something is missing. Roxas doesn't look concern, which worries her more. "Where is Luci?"

He looks up at her, confused. "Where she always is." Immediately after saying this, another black creature slithers out from behind the leaves that make up Roxas' shirt. He smiles fondly at her as she flicks her tongue out and makes her way to the grass next to their food. Xion smiles at Luci, who winds her body into a tight coil and looks up at them with her soft, yellow eyes. This is the creature that Roxas had taken to: the snake.

"Hello, Luci. It is nice to see you," she greets.

The ebony-scaled snake retracts its head and covers the top of it with its tail so that only the eyes can be seen.

Xion pouts as she reaches for another apple slice and feeds it to Rajah. "Do you think she is still upset with me?" She's referring to the time when she accidentally sat on her while trying to watch the sun go down for the day.

"I am certain she knows it was an accident," Roxas assures her.

She doesn't know if she believes him, but as he'd said before, it's too early to argue. "You never did give me an answer."

He hums as she chews. "I do not remember there being a question."

"About the edge of the sky…?" she says slowly.

Roxas lifts his head toward the sky. His mouth slips into a contemplative frown as he leans back on his hands and watches the clouds pass. "What do _you_ think is at the edge of the sky? What else could there be?"

She too looks up at the sky. "What if there is another realm below us? What if there are other versions of ourselves that are…backwards?" Her shoulders slump as she continues to think about it. "What if they are better?"

The blond shakes his head. "Deus would have told us if such a thing existed."

A sigh of relief passes her lips. It is a very good thing she has Roxas to talk to. He always seems to bring her to her senses whenever her imagination starts to wander off into unsettling places.

"I hope…"

Xion eyes him warily. She has never known him to doubt their creator before. "Are you not sure?"

He sits up and returns to his berries. He picks one up and rolls it around between his fingers, but doesn't eat. "I am not sure of a lot of things. I have many questions."

Xion turns to him with a worried pout. "Tell me. We can ponder about it together." She watches as he opens his mouth and closes it several times. Her blunt fingernails dig into the skin of her knees as she waits for him to speak. How long has she waited to hear his questions and theories? Quite possibly forever.

Roxas nods his head as he turns to her. "Here is something that I have always wanted to know: Deus created you and I, yes?"

"Yes," she agrees.

"We know this is true but…who or _what_ created Deus?"

Xion chuckles. "Silly, we already know that. Deus was created by…" She stops. When she thinks about it, they really _don't_ know. That was something they had never discussed. Maybe because they never thought to ask before. "Oh. Well why not ask Them?"

"No!" Roxas panics, and Xion flinches. Whenever Roxas is in a state of unrest, the unpleasant feeling that radiates from him becomes worse. "No, no, I don't want to upset Them. It is best to just keep this between the two of us. All of our questions."

"Does this mean you will share more of your questions with me?" she asks hopefully.

He nods, and the brightest of smiles spreads across his face. "If you wish to hear them."

"I do! It would be wonderful to sit under the stars with you and talk about all of the things we wish to know—even create answers to those questions. I am so glad you—"

_Roxas. Xion. Come._

The two deities look up at the sky as a chill runs down their spines respectively. "Yes, Dominus," they respond in unison. They leave their unfinished meal on the ground for Rajah and any other creature to feast on and silently depart for the throne. It's half a day's walk from their current location, but they don't mind it. They never do. When they finally arrive, Roxas looks visibly worn.

"Are you all right?" Xion asks, hand gently resting on the large golden door.

He nods slowly and yawns. His eyes are half-lidded and unfocused. "I was not expecting to spend all my day time walking. I will have to rest soon."

"You _will_ rest soon. Deus never keeps us for long."

She pushes on the door with all of her weight and walks down the golden path that leads to Them. Roxas follows. Sitting on the large, heavily decorated throne is an ageless, genderless, faceless entity. Its body has no color and no definite form.

Xion and Roxas come to stand side by side before Them. They slowly kneel and bow their heads. "Yes, Dominus?"

_I am very proud of you both. My love for the two of you is endless. For many days and many nights I have thought of all the ways I could show you how much I love and trust you, and I have found the perfect gesture. I have created another realm called Earth and placed it beneath Coelum. In it resides two more of my creations: one is man, the other is woman. They are called humans. I am giving you both authority over all the Earth and humans._

They look up at their creator in shock. Xion, for once, is speechless. So there _was_ something at the edge of the sky after all. She was right to question it. Does that mean she's right to question other things?

Roxas, however, laughs in disbelief. "You're giving us authority over _two_ realms?"

_Indeed. You may give them rules and care for them however you wish. You can watch over them and contact them through any body of water. This is my gift to you._

Though they are both still in shock, they are grateful. They bow their heads once again. "Thank you, Dominus."

_You may take your leave._

Roxas stands. Xion does not. She briefly acknowledges the fact that he is waiting on her before she bows her head again. "If I may, I wish to speak with you privately, Dominus."

_Go on and take your leave, Roxas. Rest._

He bows again and heads for the exit. It looked as if he wanted to say something before he did. She will ask him about that later.

Xion clasps her hands together and lowers her head. She is glad Roxas is not around for this. If this doesn't go well, she can take all of the blame for it. "Forgive me for not departing, Dominus. I wish to ask you a question and I pray it does not offend."

_I will answer any questions you have, beloved. Speak._

She takes a deep breath. "I would like to know how you came to be. Since you created Roxas and I, who created you?"

_I was neither created, nor born. I am the beginning and the end; I am the start and the finish._

Xion's brow furrowed in confusion. "No one created you? Did…you create yourself?"

_I did not come into being, beloved. I am because I am. I am existence itself._

"But…" She looked down at the ground. "How can that be? How can one just…always exist?"

_One such as yourself can not. I am above and beyond. I exist outside of creation. If I were made, then I would not be The Maker. This is the answer I have given you._

Their words are perfectly clear to her. She understands what they are saying, but she doesn't understand what it means. "My sincerest apologies, Dominus. I do not…I..."

_Let not your curiosity entice you. Let not your imagination run away from you. There is nothing more than what I have said. To search for anything more is to say that you do not believe. I keep no secrets from you. I tell you no lies._

Hot panic settles in the middle of her chest as she sits up straight as a rod. "I would never say that you tell me anything but the truth! Forgive me—!"

_You were forgiven before you asked. And I do not think less of you. I will answer any and all of your questions, beloved. And you will accept my answers as they are._

Xion nods. To her, it only makes sense that their creator—who has been nothing but kind and generous to them—would always tell them the truth. And if They say that they always existed then…she believes Them. They have given her no reason to doubt them. "May I stay a while longer? I wish to ask you more questions."

_Lay your troubled thoughts before me and I will put them all to rest._

Xion spends the rest of her day kneeling at the throne, asking every question that she could think of. She finds joy in the fact that she can finally know the truth of everything. Making up her own answers has been fun, but this feels much more satisfying.

This is the day where Xion places every drop of trust she has into Deus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is chapter one of my new project. I’m very excited about it. Get your feels ready because I’m gonna wreck them.
> 
> Last thing, thank you so much for reading. Feedback is appreciated, but definitely not required.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2   


When Roxas opens his eyes, it's night again. His arms come up to rest behind his head as he squints up at the stars. After very thorough examination, he's forced to accept the fact that the stars truly are different sizes after all. He even can even see the star that Xion told him about. It _is_ brighter than all the rest—bigger too. And if he's not mistaken, it even has a bit of a blue hue to it. He initially thought they were all white, but there's bits of red and pink and blue and gold littered across the sky. It's a gorgeous sight.

"Do you see it now?"

Roxas bolts into an upright position. He has no idea how she manages to sneak up on him without making any sound every single time. It doesn't sit well with him. He sighs as she makes herself comfortable next to him, and the warm, comforting sensation that he always feels around her sinks deep into his skin and sweeps the panic away. "I do."

The darker haired deity looks at him in surprise. After a few seconds, she narrows her eyes at him. "You are teasing again..."

Roxas lifts his hand and locates the star with his index finger. "This is the one you mentioned, yes?"

Her shoulders seem to relax as she pulls her knees up to her chest. "Deus says that no two stars in the sky are alike. Each one has a purpose and each one is very special to Them. Is that not sweet? For Them to take the time to make every single one unique?"

Roxas' brow furrows as he looks down at the evenly cut grass at his feet and lowers his arm. It all looks the same. "I do not wish to sound so negative but…how can that be? There are thousands upon thousands of stars in this sky. How can they _all_ be special when it is clear that _this one_ means more to Them?"

"What makes you believe that it does?" Xion asks.

"It is far bigger and shines much brighter. It demands your attention. This star says _look at me, I am important_."

"You speak as if this is not your first time seeing it. Had I not pointed it out, you would have never noticed."

Roxas doesn't know how to respond, and feels his cheeks warm as she giggles at him. Since when does sheget to fluster him? "I am only pondering like we said we would."

"I know. I am glad for it." Xion lies down on her back and motions for Roxas to do the same. "I am glad for all the time we spend together."

Roxas feels the corner of his mouth twitch. Something in his chest squeezes as he tilts his head towards her, and she does the same. "Are you not lonely?"

"Why would I be?"

A thoughtful frown forms. "I just thought it natural that we would always feel unsatisfied again and again. Before you, it was only Deus and I. Everything was wonderful, but then I began to long for a companion. Before _I_ was created, Deus felt same. It has been a long time since your creation. Do you really not want more?"

Xion smiles at him. "I have all I need. My creator provides for me and loves me, and you are here with me all the time. There is nothing more I could want." She turns her attention back to the sky. "Do _you_ want more?"

Roxas, with his hands laced together and resting gently on his stomach, nibbles nervously at his bottom lip. He wonders if saying this would worry her because that's the last thing he wants. His lip slips from between his teeth as he takes a deep, quiet breath. "I want answers. I try so very hard not to let these thoughts run so wild, but they consume me when I am alone. I know you understand because you have questions too—"

"Deus answered them all yesterday."

His eyebrow lifts. "They did?"

"Mm-hm. I thought it would be better if the blame were placed on myself if these questions _did_ upset Them but…They did not get upset. They took the time to answer every question I had, and They were so very patient with me. I am much better off for having asked. It has brought me peace."

Something in Roxas began to stir at her mention of peace. Though he had never said it aloud, there was always something inside of him that would feel _off_ every so often. He did know peace, but it was always temporary. The way Xion spoke made it seem as if the answers she received could grant long lasting peace. He so desperately wanted to put all of this behind him: the questions, the panic, the doubt, and the guilt.

Now excited, he asked, "Did you ask about Their creation?"

"I did. They told me that They have always existed. There was nothing before Them. I think it makes sense because if someone had created our creator, then They wouldn't be _the_ Creator. They are existence itself."

The blond waits a couple more seconds for her to continue. She never does. "That is all?"

"That is all," Xion confirms.

"Oh." Roxas tried his best to keep the bitter disappointment out of his voice. Something does not feel right. He knows that their creator would never lie to either of them but this answer did not bring him any peace. It only filled him with more frustration. He chuckles a bit despite himself. "Surely there is more than that. Did you not question Them further?"

She nods. "At first, I did not understand it either. They explained to me that asking questions beyond Their answer is dangerous and will lead us to something that is not meant for us. It will fill us with unrest. They have no reason to be untruthful, and They have done nothing to deserve our doubt. So I believe what They say."

Roxas believes what she says. These questions have already brought on frustration and paranoia, both of which drain him even in the night. If he can just believe this—really, trulybelieve that Deus _is_ existence—then it will all go away. He will find this long lasting peace soon. Just like Xion.

"Okay," he says. "I will believe too."

Xion giggles as she turns on her side and uses her arm as a pillow. Her eyes are only half open at this point, but her smile still shines as bright as that star. "It pleases me to know that you are at peace as well. Nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of this existence with you. No doubt, no ill feelings…just us."

He feels his mouth pull into a smile as he reaches over and places his hand on the ground a small distance away from hers. Roxas is aware that getting too close to her repulses her. He wouldn't dare touch her for fear of making her feel any worse. She suffers in his presence enough. He just _needs_ to be close to her. He needs to feel the warmth she so effortlessly radiates; the serenity; the feeling of being whole where he would otherwise feel incomplete. There's no explanation for why she makes him feel this way, or why he makes her feel the opposite. None that he can recognize anyway. But as long as Xion was happy to have him, he wouldn't let it bother him.

"You are half asleep already. Should I leave you to rest?"

She nods gently as her lids slowly slide shut. "Forgive me. I thought I could stay up much longer than this."

"No need to apologize," he grunts as he sits up. "I will return come day. Rest easy."

As Xion slips into slumber, Roxas stands and makes his way back to the Yellow Tree. He knows there is a body of water next to it and he wants to watch the humans.

When he arrives, he lowers himself onto his stomach, props his chin up with his palms, and peers down into the lake. All he's able to see is his own silhouette and the reflection of the moon. He only gives it a few moments of his attention before redirecting it to the water itself. Something slowly fades in. Roxas leans closer as two blurry figures come into view. He realizes that they must be the humans Deus spoke of.

The scene before him becomes much clearer, and he tilts his head in confusion. If he's not mistaken, it looks like the humans are—

Roxas yelps as he quickly sits up and covers his eyes. The humans have no sort of covering, and they don't appear to be ashamed of it. Did Deus forget to make them something to hide themselves with?

No. Deus does not forget. This must have been intentional. If that is true—that Deus intended for them to see the humans this way—then it must not be such a bad thing.

Roxas lets out a shaky breath as he slowly takes his hands down from his eyes. Now his mind is plagued with ever more questions. Why is it okay for the humans to not have covering, but he and Xion must? Why would Deus want the two of them to see the humans this way? What is so special about the humans that they have to be separated from Coelum? Could they ever reach Coelum from all the way down there? Just how far apart are they? Can he reach down and touch them? Can they hear him?

Roxas leans down to see them again. There are a lot of things that he hadn't noticed before. The human that looks like Xion has long black hair that covers her chest. (Or at least he assumes that it is a her because of the appearance.) Her eyes are dark brown, and her arms and legs are thin. Her skin is a shade of bronze that he's never seen before. This must be _woman_. Woman takes his breath away. The other human looks more like himself. He has bronze skin as well, but both his hair and eyes are a couple shades brighter than the brown of woman's eyes. He is a fair bit larger and taller than woman, and the features of his face are sharp. This must be man. Man intrigues him.

The deity hums quietly as he watches. It is also night in their realm, and yet woman walks around with a basket filled with fruit tucked between her arm and her side. Suddenly, she stops in front of a bush, lowers her basket to the ground, and proceeds to fill it with berries. He quickly comes to the conclusion that she is gathering food. When she finishes, she lifts the basket and returns to man. He smiles as she places it between them, and reaches over to grab her hand. Roxas stares in awe as their fingers lace together, and she pushes up on her toes to touch her forehead to his. There is no trace of repulsion on either of their faces. Actually, she didn't even look uncomfortable when she approached. They seem to be at peace in one another's presence.

Something inside of him feels…empty. He is starting to feel the ache of loneliness again. This is not to say that he is unhappy with Xion or her company. It is the very opposite. However, he can't deny that things are perfect between them. He understands that on some level she finds him appalling, and he is too afraid to touch her the way the humans can freely touch one another.

Roxas frowns as he turns his back to the lake and buries his face into his hands. He truly does not understand. Why are the humans different? How are they so happy while he and Xion are…

A chill overcomes him as a new revelation sinks in: Xion is happy too. She loves Coelum and Deus and everything around her. She knows peace now that she has had all of her questions answered. One could say that she feels the same way that the humans do. It is just him who feels this way. He is the only one who feels incomplete and he is the only one who has all of these questions. Only _he_ feels lonely. Only he realizes that this is not **fair**.

There is a pressure in his chest and a storm in his mind. He doesn't like it one bit. He shakes his head to get rid of the feeling, but it doesn't help. He knows his thoughts are _bad._ If Deus knew what he was thinking, They would be so disappointed in him.

Roxas wraps his arms tightly around himself as he lies on his side. This is the worst he's ever felt in his entire existence and he just wants it all to stop. He wants his questions to disappear. He wants the humans to go away because _there is no purpose for them having been created._ Deus only ever needed Xion and himself. They could have been happy all by themselves.

Deus shouldn't treat the humans better than them. He should be able to touch Xion. They should have to cover their indecency too. They should be in Coelum abiding by the same rules. He does not understand why things are the way they are, yet he is too afraid to ask.

A soft whimper escapes him as he squeezes his eyes shut. He now has to wait until Xion returns so he can speak with her about it. She will give him peace. She will be gentle and understanding. She will keep his unsettling thoughts a secret from Deus.

* * *

Although it felt like he'd spent an eternity in distress next to the Yellow Tree, he feels calm sitting next to her now. Her eyes are fixed on the humans below, and she looks absolutely enamored. Whenever they move, she leans a little closer to the water. When they get close to one another, she tilts her head. And when they touch, the corners of her mouth lift slightly.

His brow furrows as he watches her. "Xion…"

She blinks rapidly and turns her attention to him. "Hm?"

If he didn't know any better he'd say she had forgotten he was sitting next to her. Roxas laughs. "Do you like them?"

Xion nods. "I love them. I love that they are together. They look happy and peaceful. Though I am a bit concerned by their, erm…openness. Do you think Deus forgot to provide them covering?"

Those words make him feel much better about his thoughts the previous night. He feels...validated. If Xion can reach the same conclusion as he did without him bringing it up then there _has_ to be something weird going on. He also feels a bit of comfort knowing that all her inner peace does not stop her curiosity.

"You believe they are indecent as well?" he asks hopefully, fingertips pressing hard into the dirt beneath him. He knows that she does, but he needs to hear her _say_ it. He needs to know that Xion still has doubts too.

She huffs. "Well…I would rather not call it indecency. Maybe They are going to cover them later. Or—Or maybe They are not finished with the humans. I do not enjoy assuming what Deus has planned before They have told us."

His fingers dig deeper into the dirt in frustration. He can feel it gather beneath each of his nails. Despite not liking her response, he tries to keep his feelings out of his expression. "Yes, but—"

"Allowing room for _buts_ will allow room for other thoughts that we are not supposed to have. Remember what we talked about?"

"I remember," Roxas sighs. "I just…it does not feel complete. I still have things I would like to know. And every possible answer arouses another question. I want the peace that you have but it escapes me at every opportunity. Please, I…"

Xion places her hand next to his, and the turmoil he feels lessens. Their eyes meet, and the tension in his shoulders slowly melts away. He hadn't even realized it was there to begin with. He moves his hand just the slightest bit closer to hers. They may not be able to touch, but he will get as close as she'll let him.

"All is well," Xion says softly. "I understand. I think…it is okay for us to have questions. I think it is okay to want answers. It is possible that I misspoke. My peace did not come from the answers themselves, but from knowing that those answers exist. It comes from knowing that every worry that I could ever have is already taken care of. Deus is in control. Deus would _never_ lie to us. Deus would never do something that would bring us harm or misfortune. Everything They do is for the benefit of all."

Roxas is the first to break eye contact. He glances at the body of water and only sees the fish. He wets his lips as he inhales deeply. "What proof do you have?"

"You are all the proof I need." He looks up in surprise and is met with a gentle smile. Xion giggles. "I take it you did not expect to be my proof?

He doesn't know what this means. He doesn't know how to feel. "How can I be…proof?"

Xion sits up straight, placing her hands in her lap. "Deus created me so that you would not be alone. From the moment I opened my eyes, I understood that I was to be your companion. I was not made aware that you would be perfect for me. That is my proof that They only have the best intentions for us."

Roxas' expression softens as he stares at her. Finally, she tells him something that he can take hold of and keep. He believes she is perfect for him. He believes she is perfect. Deus gave him exactly what he asked for: someone like him who he could relate to and understand in ways he could not understand their Creator. And They did this because They loved him.

A smile slowly spreads across Roxas' face as he looks up at the sky. The fatigue is starting to set in. "Okay. If I am your proof, then you will be mine."

Xion gives him her best smile. "I would love that."

Now that he feels better, Roxas stands and stretches his arms high over his head. "We should eat."

"I agree." Xion jumps to her feet, his previous teasing forgotten. "We should make something with lots of different things combined to make one big breakfast!"

"Combined? As in eat everything together?"

"Yes! Allow me to explain."

Roxas tucks his hands behind his back as he listens to her explanation. He isn't sure that what he feels is peace, but it is not the torment he had had to endure the night before. For now, he is okay knowing how Xion thinks of him.


End file.
